Archive for the ‘TV Hosts’ Category

The following caps were taken on Eid, November 2009. Naveen Naqvi chose to wear a delightful mauve knit top with a deep scoop neck and dark gray pants. The top is gathered over her bust line and drops downwards. It is sufficiently diaphanous to allow a fairly clear view of her mammoth proportions and incredible cleavage. The sharp edge of her bra cups, gives way to miles of liberated mouth-watering curves. With her dusky skin, sharp features, cascading lush hair and commanding presence, she resembles more an Aztech Warrior Queen, than DAWN’s morning show host.

The word “Naveen” is from ancient Sanskrit which means “new”. Naveen Naqvi however, has been around for awhile. The buxom beauty is of Amazon class with legs that go on forever. From what we have seen of her, she is sophisticated, hard working and serious about her work. In her interview, she claims to have spent her formative years enrolled in the American International School in Saudi Arabia. Upon her return to Karachi, she did her O’Levels from the Centre of Advanced Studies and A’Levels from good ol’ Lyceum, the playpen for the rich and bored.

After giving modeling a try, she joined NBC News. After 9/11 they wanted a footprint in the area. A scenic backdrop of ‘hajis’ against which they could stand and broadcast their anti-Islamic propaganda. Naveen was hired to look after their logistics and equipment. It’s like Jang Akhbar going to New York and hiring Karolina Kurkova as their chota. But at least the Americans paid her money for services rendered. In modeling, according to Naveen, they gave her the runaround until she would break down and cry –but no dinar.

After her stint with NBC she went to New York and spent two years writing a book. It’s about a girl who grows up in Saudi Arabia and Karachi, who is searching for her identity and battling the evil patriarchal society (The Man) who is trying to keep her down. She insists it’s not an autobiography.

After departing from DAWN News on January 2010, she disappeared from the public eye, only to appear online. She now has her own blog at NaveenNaqvi.Com. She sometimes writes articles for the Huffington Post blog and has taken up with local female ‘web-activists’ who are championing the cause of women in Pakistan. Her particular area of concern is sexual abuse, incest, rape, etc. In a recent public appearances, she claims to have suffered sexual abuse as a child.

Video of Naveen Naqvi with Sana Saleem, a survivor and activist [5:55 - 6:38]:

In addition to a striking resemblance, her professional career seems to be eerily following in the footsteps of her favorite writer, Virginia Woolf (1882-1941). Virginia was a feminist writer, who was also sexually abused at a young age, by her brother. She was bisexual and is reported to have had numerous affairs. From nubile poetesses to married women and men of letters. She also suffered several mental breakdowns, starting from the age of 13 and she finally committed suicide at age 59.

In a letter Woolf describes her joy at being touched by an older woman, “it is astonishing what depths – what volcano depths – your finger has stirred”. About men, she had this to say, “Why are women so much more interesting to men, than men are to women ?”. At the very end of her life, she wrote, “I feel certain that I am going mad again… I begin to hear voices”. She reportedly put stones in her coat pockets and drowned herself in the river Ouse. Her body was fished out three weeks later.

Virginia Woolf played a pivotal role in England’s Suffrage Movement (helped women get voting and other civil and legal rights, which had been forbidden them by British aristocracy). Is this what our beautiful, leggy brunette aspires to ?. A champion of women’s lib in 21st Century Pakistan ?. We would have liked to see Naveen go the route of beautiful sex-positive feminists like Camille Paglia and Betty Dodson, rather than fat, ugly, hairy, men-hating butch lesbians like Andrea Dworkin and Naomi Wolfe. While the former celebrate beauty and sex, the latter consider any form of penetrative sex to be a violation of women. I guess strap-ons, vibrators, dildos. . . they don’t count.

Whatever the case, Naveen will find the men of Pakistan firmly behind her. Where do we sign-up ?. We can help arrange mass bra burnings on M.A. Jinnah road, topless marches on Zaibunissa street, Lollapalooza at Sunday Bazaar where chick-bands like Club Caramel, Hadiqa Kiyani and Rabi Peerzada can rock the aunties who have just spent two sweaty hours bargaining for shoes and purses next door.

But seriously, if Naveen is going through her NGO-phase and needs to take a few years off, get this out of her system and onto her resume –we can wait. I had only hoped that she would opt for lipstick, rather than going butch. Seeing her turn out like Hagrid from Harry Potter, without make-up and unkempt hair is discomfiting. But seeing these caps we know the real Naveen is still in there and like fine wine, only getting better with time.

And one fine day, soon, we will see her again: bright and beautiful, cool and confident, lustrous hair, caramel skin, larger than life with all the talent and bounty that mother nature has blessed her with.

The accompanying video.

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Shabana Maniar, “Sheer” Excess

The word Sirens in the title of this blog is not a reference to the horn that you find on top of an ambulance, or a police mobile. It is referring to the Sirens from Greek mythology. Yeah, I know you knew that. It’s for the guy next to you.

Sirens were water nymphs, part women, part fish (part bird). They sat near the water’s edge and lured in sailors from the high seas with their bewitching songs. The music they made would prove irresistible for the men, who would try to make it to shore without caring for their safety, often with disastrous results.

In other words, these Sirens would turn them into those guys you see, standing outside of girl’s colleges, disregarding the stick of the chowkidar that will eventually hurt them. No, not in that way! Oh, come on!.

I had to go into all this detail so that I could justify adding Shabana Maniar to this blog.

At first glance, Shabana is a thirty-something housewife with frayed nerves (read: multiple kids), worn hands and neglected nails. At one time she was a fair colored maiden, hounded by men. But in a few years, she will bear an uncanny resemblance to Grandpa Munster. Despite all that, she fits the bill of a Siren, the temptress.

Shabana is the host of the new show “Bila-Takalluf” on Metro-One. On this evening she had on Mrs. Hameed, a veteran of a marriage bureau who looked entirely drained (Grandpa is up to his old tricks). Now lets get down to business. Two things; one her dress and the other, is what happened to it.

She’s wearing a multi-layered outfit that is all the rage these days. These dresses usually have an expansive outer, diaphanous shell that is worn over a more risqué’ number inside.

This particular dress has a sleeveless fuchsia colored shameez inside, with a scoop-neckline that is a foot deep. Any lower and you would have struck water. The outer shell is a sheer, in pink leopard print. The object of this design, as far as I can make it, is to draw and focus your attention on her cleavage. The sheer material is there to tease and tantalize. The low neck camisole inside, is the Siren’s Call.

This dress does for boobs, what fishnet stockings do for legs.

Then something happened that would up-the-ante. It was a wardrobe malfunction… or so I guess. Her neckline was caught on some lacy bit on her bra cup and stayed stuck there for the duration of the show. So in addition to all of that cleavage, half of her bra was also on display, behind a sheet of sheer leopard.

If she knew about it, she certainly didn’t seem to care. In fact, as you can see in the video, whenever her dupatta fell down from around her neck, she would immediately gather it and push it back up, making sure nothing got between us and her funky stylings.

This sort of sly, tongue-in-cheek exhibitionism is now rampant in our society. It transcends all social and economic strata. On the street women from all walks of life are wearing sheer, barely-there lawns with deep scoop necklines, front and back, which leave little to the imagination. Sometimes you may even feel like walking-up to one and telling them that they really must retire their faded, frayed bra with the missing snap-hook in the back.

This liberal trend of “saaf chuptay bhee nahi, saamnay aatey bhee nahin” dresses, also represents a clear shift in public attitudes. The stylish dress behind the diaphanous veil and the flashy lingerie worn inside sheer shirts, are all living aspirations biding their time, waiting to be realized. Women want (and some say, need) to feel attractive, sexy and desirable. However hard we have made it for them, to express their feminity and sexuality, they seem to have figured-out ways around it.

Like the sheer stuff, but showing-off lingerie is a bit tacky. But we’ll take it.

Here is the accompanying video.

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Best Of, Jay Kazim’s Pink Ludoos

So finally, you get to see what the big deal was about this long-awaited flick (it was released back in 2004). Please keep in mind that she chose to star under a pseudonym, for obvious reasons, and that’s why we are not going to go out of our way to make trouble for her. She might have broken a few taboos in her native land, but by any western standards, this is still fairly tame stuff.

This movie is not an off-shoot of the American Pie series. It is a serious movie, which addresses important social issues confronting the desi expat community. The customs and values that desis bring from home and the dynamics and dysfunctions of raising a family in the west. How old culture comes up against, and tries to work, or fumble through, the new social challenges and dilemmas of our time. Issues like drug use, drinking, arranged marriages, premarital sex, kids out of wedlock, single-motherhood, etc. Stuff that we, down here, are not too keen to acknowledge (all this happens over there), much less confront.

The subject matter of the movie necessitated the modest use of intimate situations shown here. In that, it’s no different than Bend It Like Beckham and Bhaji On The Beach. The act(s) of kissing here, involve open mouths and some serious and sustained tongue action. It’s not the pursed lips variety practiced by William Powell & Co. Here, one can fairly stipulate the swapping of spit. Yes, this will be shocking to some, but kissing is now slowly creeping into Bollywood movies and has become less of a taboo, today, than it used to be in the past.

Still, one cannot escape the fact that no Muslim/Pakistani/girl has broken this many taboos since Anita Ayub crossed the eastern border to bare herself in a string of little outfits. That, was her 15 minutes of fame.

Even the fashionably much maligned Meera got a boatload of bad press for her Bollywood movie Nazar with Ashmit Patel, which had her hugging a Hindu. Imagine if she had stuck out her tongue and cleaned his tonsils for him ?.

You will likely go through feelings of outrage, titillation and/or education. I don’t think Jay Kazim had any illusions while making this movie that this would not follow her back to Pakistan. As far as her acting is concerned, seeing how it was her first film outing, she should be proud of her performance. While not Oscar-worthy, it’s still better than most of the stuff that gets put out there these days.

So without much ado, here’s the video. It’s dubbed in German, so those of you who spreken de deutsch will enjoy it doubly. The rest of us will just have to follow the action.

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Following are the caps of Shamineh Byramji, the erstwhile host of the show Open Frequency on the Dawn News channel. The show airs on Saturday evenings at 7:30pm. The present hosts are Pia Aung and Tanya Mirza. Whatever the reason for her leaving the show, Shamineh’s talents and beauty are beyond reproach.

As a host, she was eloquent, elegant, respectful, fair and patient. That’s all on top of being stunningly beautiful and a sight to behold. She bears an uncanny resemblance to Madeleine Stowe, one of my all time favorite movie stars.

Madeleine Stowe starred in Tropical Snow, Revenge, Unlawful Entry and Blink to name a few. I first saw her in Tropical Snow and boy, did she look good! like an Aphrodite coming to life, right before your eyes. Madeleine has been described by movie critics thusly, “She could probably uncross her legs onscreen and you’d still stare at her face”. And that’s certainly true for Shamineh as well.

In many ways she is even better looking than the HW redhead. She has large brown, expressive eyes. Her hair is longer and more luxurious. Her skin is pure honey-amber and judging from afar, a larger rack and a shapely figure. She appeared to be a tad shy on her first outing, but that only added to her charm and beauty. Although she didn’t speak a whole lot, she seemed to have a quiet grasp of each social topic on the menu.

I don’t know where she went, or what’s she doing at the present time. All I can do, is hope, that she decides to come back to us.

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Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

Frank Sinatra, My Way

Even though Frank Sinatra might have fancied these words about his life, I think they are better suited for our Juggan Kazim. This girl, is a rebel, in the best tradition of the word. What she has accomplished in her short life is an inspiration for girls out there. She had worked in plays and was a movie star in the west, much before we knew her as a television personality in Pakistan.

When fate dealt her a blow and she separated from her husband, she chose to go it alone, rather than fall back on her parents. A single mother, meeting the demands of family and career, especially in our neck of the woods, is a singular achievement. For a woman to manage it within the traditional framework, set by our patriarchal culture, is an uphill task. But to be beautiful and sexy, independent and forthright, yet maintain one’s integrity –in our time– is nothing short of amazing.

And in keeping with that spirit, we discover her love for piercings; tongue piercing in particular. A universally acknowledged symbol for expressing one’s individuality and personality, it is also said to enhance one’s, shall we say, social life. There is a definite exotic and sensual appeal to a tongue piercing. One can only imagine how it would feel wrapped around one’s tongue, or rubbing against something even more sensitive.

I don’t know where these desi girls are getting them done but these days, aside from the tongue piercing, you do spot the occasional eyebrow, lip and belly piercings. It just gets the wheels turning as to what, where and how many more is s/he holding out on us.

Before we wrap this up, something ought to be said about the particular placement of the piercing on the tongue. Whether it’s near the tip, or further back, depends on what it’s going to be used for, or on. I’ll let you decide what we have going on here. If it’s ever going to be used for anything other than the aesthetic appeal, of course.

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Nasim Zehra, The Headlight-ened Analyst

The following caps are of the news analyst Nasim Zehra, who has worn many caps through the course of her professional career. Normally, someone like Nasim Zehra wouldn’t make it to this blog, even if they sat on a flaming skillet. But this particular outing deserves to be preserved for posterity.

Nasim is hosting a round table for the winning team to come out of the Lawyer’s Movement (aka The Black Coat Revolution). Surrounded by an august gathering that included such names as Munir A. Malik, Aitezaz Ahsan and Talat Hussain she chose to come bra-less, just wearing a slip (shameez) under her fairly transparent mint-green dress.

What unfolded was quite predictable.

The easily excitable Nasim trying to indicate some inane observation, or push through an arcane thought, flailed her arms about and managed to stimulate her large nipples. Which, in turn, proceeded to break out of the two layers of flimsy clothing.

The large expanse of rolling flesh atop her chest with raised headlights in the middle, kept the country’s best legal minds on sports. That’s the sort of enlightened moderation we’d like to see, in excess.

In 1997 Nasim Zehra was the Information Sec. of Imran Khan’s Tehreek-e-Insaaf party. She was thrown out of the party because of her “poor showing during a televised debate on Pakistan Television” prior to the elections.

Turned out of principled politics she joined the US sponsored military dictator in Pakistan who made her a member of the President’s National Kashmir Committee (2001–2002) and President’s Advisory Committee on Foreign Policy and National Security (2000–2002). She later became an Adjunct Professor at the School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS, Johns Hopkins University) and today she has turned into a fellow at the Harvard University (Asia Centre).

Harvard University has had a long standing relationship with the CIA. This reads like the CV of a CIA operative, placed back here to mold public opinion in favor of the party (puppet ?) of their choosing. And a jilted political activist without a home makes for a prime candidate.

But what do I know ?. bits and nibbles, and here’s a glimpse of them in motion. Enjoy:

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Nida, Stacked Siren On ValueTV

In the present scenario, if someone told me that they were going to bring out a channel catering to the real-estate market, I would give them a week. But ValueTV has lasted more than that and there isn’t an end in sight for them. Why ?, because they have diversified programming, branching out into architecture, construction and exploring the rich heritage of local structures.

But that’s not all. Their biggest draw is their line-up of hotties. No single private channel can boast the diversity and quality of beauty in their hosts and anchors, that ValueTV has today. These caps are of their host Nida, who hosts The Weekly Roundup Show.

If you mix the cute and coquetish charms of a younger Britney (#1, #2, #3) with the curves and sensuality of Erica Campbell (#1, #2)… you have Nida.

Now I’d like to draw your attention to the obvious. The big, round, fat, scrumptuous tits. Uncles are hypnotized, the young are mesmerized. A pair like this is respondible for half the fender-benders on Tariq Road, Liberty and Jinnah Super. The way the perfect round tit will curve out from the sides, giving the sort of proportions to the female form that turns man into ape.

If instead of going-off to the Galapagos Islands looking at lizards, Darwin had headed down to his local strip club, the evolutionary chart in his Origin of Species, may well have come out looking backwards.

An average tit has a shelf-life of about 15 years. After that it needs various props to fool men. These are certainly not about to expire anytime soon. Such loveliness, on-loan from mother nature, needs to be appreciated and we are certainly glad that Nida chose to share her beauty with the world.

Next time I see her, I’ll try and pay attention to what she’s saying (try being the operative word) .

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These caps are of Naila Nadeem, from the Breakfast With Naila show, that aired in August, 2008. She is wearing a print green kurta with a white cotton shalwar and matching white shoes. Gurus will note that this ensemble is completed with a full, white bra that has much to be proud of it’s contents.

Naila is a fountain of bubbling enthusiasm for stuff that would ordinarily pass for the usual and mundane. Her opening segment is not scripted, yet she is able to form a coherent message on the fly. Her guest is some no-name MPA from the Punjab Assembly, who is likely a goon and/or a buffoon.

To get people excited about creatures from the political jungle of Pakistan, you either have to have the imagination of Rudyard Kipling, or the sexual chemistry of Erica Campbell. Naila is blessed with both and that’s why we love her so.

Here you can just make out the faint outlines of her white bra cups. Just enough to send your occipital cortex into a twist. No amount of fancy geometric designs, or camouflage print on her kurta can conceal the generous proportions of her round, meaty tits. Even if she was devoid of style, beauty and substance, such magnificent orbs would have single-handedly carried the day. It’s just nicer to have it all.

There are few women who look equally sexy with their hair up, or down. Here Naila has chosen to pull her hair back into a ponytail. Without the distraction of the lustrous mane of hair framing her classic oval face, we are provided an opportunity to appreciate the finer features. Like the bright expressive eyes and full-bodied lips that traditionally play second fiddle to much larger, softer and curvier assets.

Here is an accompanying video from the same show:

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It is amazing how our screens today are littered with world-class beauties that, by and large, go unappreciated. Take this gorgeous girl for example. A mass of curly raven hair, atop a ravishing figure, no less appealing than a star of yore. She is currently the side-kick to the reigning queen of totkas on tv, Apa Zubaida. These caps are from their show on Tv-One, dated August 16th, 2008.

The brunette with the beauty and grace of Rita Hayworth adds color and life to a show which without her, would frankly be as interesting as watching grass grow. But Apa Zubaida, the quak, clearly seems to think that she is the real star of the show and people tune-in to hear folksy remedies for allergies (take showers with mustard), weight loss (drink louki-ka-juice), etc. Which is, of course, plain nuts.

So it takes a certain temperament to tolerate Apa’s incredulous totkas, while maintaining a calm exterior and not bursting out in fits of uncontrollable laughter, everytime Apa tells somebody, with a straight face, to stick a clove of kalonji up their ass for bad breath. Apa reminds me of a radio talk-show guest abroad. He claimed to be a Master Gardner and he would dole-out advice like putting Coca Cola, or bleach into your flower gardens. That might have been sound advice, but it still sounded over-the-top. Just like Apa.

But enough about Apa, this is all about her helper here. I wish I had a name to go with those perfectly round, firm, shapely tits. These splendid orbs, restrained by a hearty bra, but still refusing to submit and are jutting out the sides in a clear rebellion. Her beauty is further enhanced by her poise and regal demeanor on screen. She stands there, unfettered and unfazed by the stream of confused, demented callers who would make a monk snap. That clearly reflects a sound background and firm moorings.

This girl is pretty, well proportioned and polished. She could be in the movies. She should be in movies. A suitable platform to project and properly broadcast her talents and charisma. She is already a star. It’s just that enough people don’t know it yet. Here is the accompanying video of hers from the same show.

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Atiqa Odho does not seem to be in any hurry to relinquish the mantle of the uber Pakistani MILF anytime soon. The following caps are from her new show on Geo TV, “A Conversation With Atiqa” that aired on October 16th, 2008. Here she is interviewing the Pakistani rock band Strings, or so it would seem. But it is actually a ploy for Atiqa to showcase her tantalizing beauty and amazing tits. And you will hardly hear a murmur of displeasure, or dissent out there in the heartland.

Atiqa’s hair is coiffed after the classic pinup hotties of the 50’s and 60’s. The Sophia Lorens, the Gina Lollobrigidas, and the Mae Wests.

Ladies who could rattle briefs and boxers late into their sunset years. Those big flashing eyes, large pouty lips, smooth unblemished skin of the cheek. All that and the nubile aura that she projects at her age is as rare and amazing as the legacy of those legendary sex symbols.

Notice when she crosses her hands, her elbows push her tits together to form a lovely, creamy cleavage. When her hands are at her sides, the pendulous tits fall into perfect tear-drop symmetry, held in check by a make-shift, flowery hammock that’s tied behind her neck.

The contrast in color between the solid black dress and the supportive flowery bib, serves to emphasize the size and shape of the forbidden fruit. Around her neck she is wearing a dangling pendant. It swings back and forth over the cleavage, shaped like a tiny male appendage, marking the spot.

Atiqa’s interviews are not meant to be hard-hitting numbers like Jasmin Manzoor’s (Pulse on Business Plus), or Saima Mohsin’s (Newseye on Dawn News). They are puff pieces, and not the kind with some pastry underneath, like Naeem Bukhari’s (Apna Andaaz on Hum TV).

It’s fluff and fawning, without much homework. Like, when she singled-out the band for being the first Pakistani band whose song had made it to the soundtrack of a major Hollywood blockbuster (Spiderman-2, 2004). Strings had to remind her that Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan had actually done that, ten years earlier (Natural Born Killers, 1994).

But really, who cares ?. There are enough fact-finding munshis with bad hairdos out there, madly polluting the air waves with vitriol. There is only one Atiqa Odho. She can sit there on a couch, wearing just a man’s shirt, top three buttons undone, painting her toenails and it’ll be a guaranteed hit show.

For Atiqa, the most paramount question for the band had little to do with the process of coming up with ideas for songs, melodies and compositions. It was about the band groupies. The single and often married women who follow the band around, calling them at home and making themselves ‘available’, away from home.

How has the band dealt with them ?. Do their wives mind all the attention ?. It sounded more like she was shopping for an audition, than looking for their position on the subject. The blushing band members, sputtering out the usual make-believe response, made their positions clear.

It would’ve been enough if Atiqa Odho was just another ravishing beauty. But she is that and an incredible actress. She may not like the band, care for their music, or been following their career. But with just enough empathy and faked sincerity, she seemed to care about them as people and they seemed satisfied with the attention.

And that’s why it works most of the time, because Atiqa steals the show. It rarely matters who her guest is. People tune in to see Atiqa, in all her finery. I bet if you took a poll, Atiqa would be more popular among guys (both young and old), than gals.

Here’s the much awaited video clip from the same show. Enjoy:

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