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Archive for July, 2010

Shabana Maniar, “Sheer” Excess

The word Sirens in the title of this blog is not a reference to the horn that you find on top of an ambulance, or a police mobile. It is referring to the Sirens from Greek mythology. Yeah, I know you knew that. It’s for the guy next to you.

Sirens were water nymphs, part women, part fish (part bird). They sat near the water’s edge and lured in sailors from the high seas with their bewitching songs. The music they made would prove irresistible for the men, who would try to make it to shore without caring for their safety, often with disastrous results.

In other words, these Sirens would turn them into those guys you see, standing outside of girl’s colleges, disregarding the stick of the chowkidar that will eventually hurt them. No, not in that way! Oh, come on!.

I had to go into all this detail so that I could justify adding Shabana Maniar to this blog.

At first glance, Shabana is a thirty-something housewife with frayed nerves (read: multiple kids), worn hands and neglected nails. At one time she was a fair colored maiden, hounded by men. But in a few years, she will bear an uncanny resemblance to Grandpa Munster. Despite all that, she fits the bill of a Siren, the temptress.

Shabana is the host of the new show “Bila-Takalluf” on Metro-One. On this evening she had on Mrs. Hameed, a veteran of a marriage bureau who looked entirely drained (Grandpa is up to his old tricks). Now lets get down to business. Two things; one her dress and the other, is what happened to it.

She’s wearing a multi-layered outfit that is all the rage these days. These dresses usually have an expansive outer, diaphanous shell that is worn over a more risqué’ number inside.

This particular dress has a sleeveless fuchsia colored shameez inside, with a scoop-neckline that is a foot deep. Any lower and you would have struck water. The outer shell is a sheer, in pink leopard print. The object of this design, as far as I can make it, is to draw and focus your attention on her cleavage. The sheer material is there to tease and tantalize. The low neck camisole inside, is the Siren’s Call.

This dress does for boobs, what fishnet stockings do for legs.

Then something happened that would up-the-ante. It was a wardrobe malfunction… or so I guess. Her neckline was caught on some lacy bit on her bra cup and stayed stuck there for the duration of the show. So in addition to all of that cleavage, half of her bra was also on display, behind a sheet of sheer leopard.

If she knew about it, she certainly didn’t seem to care. In fact, as you can see in the video, whenever her dupatta fell down from around her neck, she would immediately gather it and push it back up, making sure nothing got between us and her funky stylings.

This sort of sly, tongue-in-cheek exhibitionism is now rampant in our society. It transcends all social and economic strata. On the street women from all walks of life are wearing sheer, barely-there lawns with deep scoop necklines, front and back, which leave little to the imagination. Sometimes you may even feel like walking-up to one and telling them that they really must retire their faded, frayed bra with the missing snap-hook in the back.

This liberal trend of “saaf chuptay bhee nahi, saamnay aatey bhee nahin” dresses, also represents a clear shift in public attitudes. The stylish dress behind the diaphanous veil and the flashy lingerie worn inside sheer shirts, are all living aspirations biding their time, waiting to be realized. Women want (and some say, need) to feel attractive, sexy and desirable. However hard we have made it for them, to express their feminity and sexuality, they seem to have figured-out ways around it.

Like the sheer stuff, but showing-off lingerie is a bit tacky. But we’ll take it.

Here is the accompanying video.

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Sophia Mirza was born on 23rd March, 1983. She completed her primary education in Okara, Punjab. Then moved to Lahore to do her BA in journalism. She worked in PC Lahore for five months and then briefly joined PIA. In 2007 she was the Jazz Mobilink girl. She fell in love and married Umer Farooq on Feburary 16 2006 and moved to Norway. She returned to Pakistan and their divorce was finalised in June, 2010. She cited his “bad habits” as the primary reason. The Lahore High Court granted her custody of their twin daughters in August 2, 2008 and limited contact with her ex-husband. On June 19, 2009 when the two girls went to meet their father at a court appointed venue (Avari Hotel), he kidnapped them. She has appealed to the Chief Justice and High Court to get them back from him. The husband still maintains residence in Norway.

Sophia Mirza rejoined the media upon her return to Pakistan. A veteran of print and TV, she is now doing modelling shoots and appearing regularly on fashion related events. Still in her twenties and having been blessed with unique angular facial features, a curvaceous figure and some acting skills which can be further developed, there is no reason why she shouldn’t shine as a bright star in the rapidly developing media market at home.

That was a brief synopsis of her bio. Now we investigate another kind of back ground. Usually, when you think of Sophia Mirza, you think of a beautiful face with amazing bone structure. The sharp jawline, straight nose, large expressive eyes and heart-shaped lips. But what isn’t explored and kept under wraps, is her spectacular butt.

It is not every day that you see a North American face, on a South American body.

Connoisseurs of the derrière need no explaining that all butts are not created equal. While amateurs think it’s all about size, it is not. It is the shape, density and texture which separates any ordinary fat butt, from a phat butt. While the former will make you skip lunch, the latter will bring on the munchies.

The biggest prize in the butt category is the highly sought-after and elusive “Bubble Butt”, which Sophia Mirza proudly boasts. It is round, it is firm and it is out there. The smaller ones are referred to as “Apple Bottoms”. Diamonds may be forever, but butts are for a lifetime. Long after boobs have lost the fight with gravity and turned into silly putty, a bubble butt will still be singing Bob Seger’s tune:

Like a rock, I was strong as I could be
Like a rock, nothin’ ever got to me
Like a rock, I was something to see
Like a rock

[Bob Seger, Like A Rock]

These caps and accompanying video remind us what else is special about Sophia. A legacy she carries behind her, butt, can’t boast about. It is therefore, incumbent upon sahib-e-nazar and everybody with good taste to acknowledge, appreciate and celebrate such rare attributes.

Sophia Mirza is beautiful; whether she is coming or going.

After going through a series of butts, for research of course, I believe I have found similar construction on a few girls. Mind you, it took some doing to find matching quality and size. These girls are prized and highly regarded for such blessings. For folks who want to pay their respects, they can watch sightings here, and observe how such natural wonders are properly nurtured and cared for, in other parts of the world.

Sophia Mirza video accompanying the above caps is presented below. The designer of her plastic bubble, the lime green leggings and top is Design-O-Rama.

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